I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
