I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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