I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
