And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
