I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
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...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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