put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
