Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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