I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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