NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
