Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
