Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize