Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
