covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
FUCK WHALES
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