check it out our google latitudes are spooning
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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