She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize