just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
