Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
they're like a gay fantastic four
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
