So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
