let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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