found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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