Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize