I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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