There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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