So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
