Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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