I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
