My friends, they love my intelligence
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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