Im at strip club and am horny
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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