i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
