Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
