did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
