Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
