The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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