Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
