Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize