I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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