you guys were way drunker than both of me
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
