You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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