found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
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so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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