I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize