So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
