More tranny stories later!
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
as a side note pls kill me
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
