sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
