the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize