I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
