Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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