we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
We are two peas in an std pod
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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