I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
