I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
