We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
