Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
