Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
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