so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
NoShamevember. You game?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
