How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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