there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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