3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
