I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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