"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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