Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
